Wednesday, January 11, 2012

GOOD COP (LORD), BAD COP (BUTLER)

Today’s blog is more about processes, how they break down, and the ways we deal with these situations.
Lord and Butler have been going to have a lot of tests done.  If the tests are done in the same building in which Lord Mario’s oncologist is located, Piedmont West, generally things go smoothly.  Lately however, when we have gone to Piedmont Hospital, the needed paperwork from the Doctor’s office has not reached the centers performing these tests, and we needlessly wait.
The Laird’s reaction to these situations is politically correct and much more regal.  He calmly explains why we are there and asks how we can solve the problem.  Often, perhaps always, this approach works.  Bravo for the Laird.
Yesterday, during the scan of the Laird’s right leg for blood clots, we ran into one such problem. While the scan had been scheduled, this was not enough.  A paper form with the doctor’s orders has to be faxed over where the test is being done.  The needed paper copy had not been received.
The Laird initially handled this situation, calmly explaining the situation to Jessica, a very nice young lady. She said she would call the Doctor’s office and get the needed paperwork..  Both Laird and Jessica, apparently graduates from the same charm school, smiled appropriately at the right times and nodded.  All seemed well, as far as the Butler could tell
The Butler waited a bit and when we were not called, with the Laird’s approval, went to Jessica to inquiry if all was well.  The Butler was proud of himself that he asked politely if the matter been resolved, rather than saying anything accusatory.  Jessica calmly explained that she had called the Doctor’s office but the number was busy.  She was a sweet child and busy doing many things.  She was clearly not a lazy person.  So again the Butler was polite and did not rebuke the girl, with “Girl, what is the matter with you?  Did you not think to call again?”  Instead he said would handle the matter, and called the Doctor’s office himself, who picked up this time.  The Butler explained the need for the paperwork and handed the phone to Jessica who provided the fax number needed.  The paperwork had come through when the Butler checked again a little later. Best not to take any chances, he thought.  As an aside, Mario discovered when he saw the paperwork that they had the wrong leg and, still had to call the Doctor’s office yet another time to get the order changed from left leg to right leg. 
During this episode, the Butler was always polite and lordly-like to casual observers, befitting his service to the Laird.  Privately however, he was venting to Lord Mario about the incompetency, which are mainly systemic and not of the people.  He thought it might be trick of the Hospital to make people stay longer and incur more parking charges. 
The Butler is a planner, and knew that his Laird could have a similar situation the next day for an echo cardiogram test at Piedmont Hospital.  While waiting, he asked that the Laird call the office performing the echo cardiogram and ask if all the required paperwork had been received.  After being transferred to several different persons, the last said no.  While the test had been scheduled, the needed paperwork had not been faxed.  While Lord Mario went in for his leg scan, the Butler called the scheduler at the Doctor’s and explained what had happened and his desire to avoid the leg episode happening again.  He was polite.  The scheduler, who is apparently the paper faxer as well, is a nice lady named Shaquida.  She had helped Lord, Butler and Nurse schedule most of the tests.   Shaquida said that they have so many different fax numbers at Piedmont Hospital that their faxes often do not get to the right place.  The Butler said fine and that he would get the right number for her.  The Butler felt like saying “You schedule many echo cardiograms for the third floor of the 275 building, why would you not have the fax number for this particular location and for  every other location you schedule appointments?”  Instead, the Butler called Piedmont’s echo cardiogram, spoke with Mary, and obtained the correct fax number and provided it to Shaquida in a polite voice mail message.
The next day when the Laird and the Butler went to Piedmont’s echo cardiogram center, Ms. Martin informed us that we did not have an appointment. It was worse than not having received the needed paperwork.  The Laird had no appointment at all.  Ms. Martin was clumsily holding the paper work from yesterday for the wrong leg, saying that this was all they had.  This brought back to mind the events of the previous day, and was the straw that broke the Butler's camel's back.
The Laird tried to speak first, but Butler exploded, disturbing the calm of the waiting room.  According to the Laird, the Butler may have used the word “crap”, but the Butler does not recall this.  Fortunately, he was not accused by the Laird of being disrespectful to Ms. Martin.  The Butler had an uncontrollable visceral reaction, citing that his Cuban ancestry gave him the right to have an outburst.  The Butler supposed, the same right would apply to for those of Irish ancestry and a few others, but the English probably not.  Using a technique probably learned in a gentleman's charm school,  the Laird tried to calm the Butler and take over control of the situation, but was brushed off. The Butler was pissed.  He had done all he could to correct the inefficiencies of this byzantine antiquated paper work fax system; yet a problem had still occurred. However, the Butler does not often have an outburst without also having documentation to prove he is right, the others wrong, and hopefully shame the incompetents to do better. The Butler’s experience however, has been that bureaucratic incompetents rarely learn, or show shame or remorse.  They just blame others or the system, and move on to continue a vicious cycle..
The Butler produced the Laird’s appointment schedule clearly showing we had been scheduled for an appointment.  He had his notes with conversations with Mary of the echo cardiogram center and the provided fax number provided by her.   Ms. Martin considered the documents, borrowed the Butlers’ paperwork, made a call and the matter was resolved.  The Butler had to request his paperwork back, and added Ms. Martin’s name to his notes.  It felt good to have had his say.   Ms. Martin was not at fault.  She is just part of a flawed system that wants higher parking changes.
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AS THE FOG LIFTS
The Butler is a different type of person than the Laird.  He is more combative, visceral, and emotional.  This is not an apology.  The Butler is content, even proud, of the person he is; but acknowledges that perhaps he needs to sometimes emulate the Laird’s schmoozer approach.  Likewise, the Laird may sometimes have to be more like the Butler, but this is for the Laird to decide.  The Butler suspects that the Laird is, or can be, a more visceral person, but has learned to tame his emotions.  This can be both good and bad, but probably mostly good.  
Gentle readers, you can decide what lessons there are in this for you.  Diplomacy in most cases should be the way to settle differences, and war the last.   As for the Butler, he will try to be more lordly and polite whenever possible. However it is hard for him.  At his age, we are what we are.    This is a stressful time for all, and the Butler does not need for his blood pressure to go up over silly paperwork issues.  Better to save the blood pressure for the  big issues.
The Butler will use his time with the Laird to learn how better emulate the Laird’s sweet polite schmoozer approach.  Funny, the Butler does not remember the Laird being so sweet as a child, whishing that he had been more sweet then as well.
The Butler is going to a yoga class this evening to decompress.  Nurse Sherry has been nursing a cold/allergies and is working from home.  Lord Mario is going to make her soup.

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