MIST, FLOWERS, AND FRIENDS

 MAID OF THE MIST

Maid of the Mist



Almost every American family has made the pilgrimage to Niagara Falls and taken a ride on Maid of the Mist.  These fearless boats take you very close to where the falling water crashes on to the rocks. The mist from the falling water  sprays into the air and showers those brave passengers on the decks wanting to see everything up-close. 

These sturdy boats seem so small and puny in contrast to the deafening power of falls.  Yet they still they fearlessly and tirelessly make trip after trip, safely ferrying their passengers. The Maid of the Mist personifies the type of strength and determination needed when you are in for long, hard struggle.

The secret guest blogger who assumed the name “Maid of the Mist” will soon take over the blog for a week or two.  Mr. FOG is taking a break and thought it was time to give this special person a chance to share her thoughts with you.  I won’t tell you who she is.  For the time being, you will just have to guess.  Perhaps Maid of the Mist will reveal her true identity to you soon. 

I will say that she describes herself as the type of person that manages things with “a firm  hand and a gentle heart”, if that clue helps.  For those of you that guessed Meryl Streep, thinking of the new movie Iron Lady;   it is not Meryl Streep.  However, Maid of the Mist may want to watch the movie and perhaps get some pointers on how to deal with a Lord, as Margaret Thatcher had to deal with a whole House of Lords.  .

I know that you will enjoy receiving updates from Maid of the Mist.   Surely we are making progress if were going from a fog to a mist.  At least I hope so.
 

FLOWERS

Thanks to all the family and friends who have been so supportive with prayers, meals, gifts and well-wishes.  At the Piedmont Hospital Suite, a beautiful floral arrangement arrived from Mario’s friends at BBDO Atlanta. 

Back at the Vinings Mountain Castle, friends of Mr. FOG and Mario and Sherry from their dinner club sent a very nice living basket.  Mario and Sherry want to thank Lois, Suzanne, Kate, Jane B. Dick, Ray and David for their lovely gift.  They hope to make it to the next dinner club.  Mr. FOG will try to keep the living gift alive and away from the Red Devil so that it can be enjoyed for a long time. 

VISITORS 

Mr. FOG still did not have his camera today.  Yesterday, Mr. FOG wished that he had his camera when the ESPN group was at the Piedmont Hospital Suite , but no luck.  Today, Mr. FOG thought of the cell phone camera so we got a picture. Well the second picture on his cell phone .   The Laird's I phone which took the first picture is too complicated for Mr. FOG it seems,

Left to right we have Jay, Red Devil (also known as Doxorubicin), Mario and Dave.  Red Devil was attached to Mario, and for the time being, is an ally, so he is a friend and featured in the picture.  Hopefully it won't be a long friendship.

EDITORIAL CORRECTION:  We reported earleir that Mesna is an anti-nausea medicine.  It is not.  Mesna is a drug used to reduce the undesired side effects of certain chemotherapy drugs.  It is referred to as a "chemoprotectant".  They give a poison, but have to give you  an antidote of sorts to counter the bad effects.  In Mr. FOG's conversations with the Laird this mis-statement was noted.  We invite our readers to correct any errors of fact.   Errors of opinion are not subject to correction.  this is simply two different points of view.

Cancer Camaraderie

Although solidarity may be the better term, Mr. FOG is a bit of a Francophile and likes alliteration, so cancer camaraderie it is.   

The Lord, Butler, and Nurse have been going to hospitals and doctor’s offices, seeing others dealing with a variety of illnesses, mostly cancers.   A sense of camaraderie or solidarity develops with others who are also fighting cancer. Race, gender, social class, it does not matter.  We are all cancer warriors.  It is a cancer fraternity/sorority of sorts and we are all unwilling conscripts in this unfair war.  You have no choice but to fight and fight fiercely or die.

Images of the Polish “Solidarnosc” or Walk for the Cure may convey this feeling better.  .

This solidarity certainly developed with Mr. FOG’s friends, a couple now battling lung cancer.  While Mr. FOG has been very concerned for months about his friend’s life threatening illness, a stronger kinship has developed since Mario was also diagnosed with cancer.  Having to deal with a similar threat, Mr. FOG now has a better appreciation of what the couple has been going through.  They have been traveling this cancer road now for many months and are now war hardened veterans.  The Lord, Nurse Sherry and Mr. FOG are new to the war, only just starting their tour of duty.   As the lung cancer veterans, they did not ask to be drafted or volunteer for this fight. 

Likewise, the friend battling lung cancer, knows how hard this war can be, and she offered whatever help she could to Lord, Nurse, and Butler, the new recruits.  Just knowing that others have traveled down this road, care about you and are praying for you is a great comfort and a powerful weapon in this battle.  Thanks to all.

Today at the Piedmont Suite

All is well with the Laird today.  He has been working and receiving visitors.  Jane and Alyssa came to visit around lunch time, coinciding with a visit by Nurse Sherry.   The  ESPN crew arrived, far  too many other friends for Mr. FOG to keep track.  The was a Chris, Jay , Jenn and  Randall, but he left out several guys.  Perhaps Mario should have have gotten the presidential suite. Mario had a great time with his friends.

 Mr. FOG is considering stocking appetizers and libations for our visitors. 

Red Devil

Mario  has received various medicines/poisons, but the star of the show is Doxorubicin. Red Devil as his friends call him, is being pumped into Mario, 24 hours a day through Thursday.   Here is his/her publicity photo and bio.  Sorry no autographs, only after effects.
 

Doxorubicin’s nick name is "red devil" due to its red color. It also known as "red death", hopefully due to its cancer killing properties.  Follow the link and read Red Devil's interesting history. 

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxorubicin

He/She has Italian and French ancestry and has a linage going back hundreds of years, although Red Devil was not discovered until the 1950’s.  He/She is also an orphan drug —so sad.  However, since Mario also has Italian ancestry perhasp he and Red Devil share a kinship.

Mr. FOG does not like Doxorubicin, but he likes the cancer even less, so for the time being we are allies with Doxorubicin.  The enemy of my enemy……

Soon they won't be able to pump any more poisons into Mario and still have him alive.  So as best we can tell he will be discharged on Friday morning or so, when the last of the Mesna, the anti-nausea medicine is given. Fortunately Mario has not had any ill effects to date.  Nurse Sherry did notice that his cheeks are flushed.  

The Piedmont Hospital Hilton

Lord, Nurse and Butler did not sleep well and Mr. FOG overslept.  He was awakened by his Lordship demanding his promised breakfast of eggs and toast. 

The trio checked into the hospital for the start of the chemotherapy treatment.  Nurse Kathy from Mario’s oncologist said she would ask for the suite and the Laird, befitting his status, and he got it.   Nurse Sherry seemed to enjoy the nicer accommodations as well. 

Following are some pictures of the hospital room suite with a standard hospital room with bath and living room area with a powder room and mini kitchen.  It will be a very nice home away from home.

At the hospital before starting the treatment, Mario and Sherry opened Parker's gift of personalized inspirational messages,

Likewise Anna, Dan and Charley gave the trio each a notebook to capture their thoughts as they travel on their pilgrimage.  Below is a picture of Mr. FOG’s notebook.  Soon it will be filled with his musings.

Mr. FOG, having done all he could, left the Lord in the care of his oncologist and Nurses Sherry, Geraldine and Pauline.  The chemotherapy is to starts today and will be continuously delivered intravenously via the port in the Lord’s chest for several days.

Seeing that his Lordship was well-attended, Mr. FOG seized the opportunity and went back to Vinings Mountain Castle to refortify himself and run an errand for the Laird.  He left the Laird working on his computer on AT&T business and Nurse Sherry was also working her computer with one eye on the Lord.

Technical Note

Mr. FOG has heard from several of our readers that they have tried to leave comments with no luck.  No, Mr. FOG does not practice censorship, erasing uncomplimentary comments.  There is apparently a technological issue which he will pass on to Anna and Dan.  One reader from San Francisco has been able to post comments.  Perhaps she will share her secret. 

The Calm before the Chemo

On Saturday, Vinings Mountain Castle was slow to awaken.  The Laird was in additional pain with the new chemotherapy port.  He rested much of the day.  Hopefully getting used to the port and the wound healing will help.  By Saturday afternoon he was doing better and Mario went over to spend an afternoon with Jay, Mike, Jenni, Todd, and Bill; watching the New Orleans and San Francisco game.  This was good for Mario, although the team he bet on lost in the final moments of the game.  The Laird is a social person and being with his friends always results in a good time.

That evening, Lord, Nurse and Butler had a nice healthy meal of rosemary chicken tenders, corn on the cob, wilted spinach and almonds, and portabella mushrooms with balsamic vinegar.  With a three pound bag of COSTCO garlic at his disposal; everything, except for the corn, was heavily laced with garlic, a good anti-oxidant.  All liked the meal.

Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti

Sunday was our church and friends day.  The trio went to their church, St. Thomas the Apostle.  St. Thomas was the doubting apostle, hence the term “Doubting Thomas”.  This was probably a good choice for Mr. FOG.  The parish community looked like America, and the service tilted a bit to the informal with a lot of singing.  A folk Mass feel.   Appropriately the sermon was about God calling to us, but do we hear, and if we hear, do we reply.  Mr. FOG liked the church.  It was different than his Basilica of St. Lawrence in Asheville.

In its infinity wisdom, the Vatican has again changed the church service.   Mr. FOG knew the change was coming, but had ignored it.  As an altar boy, he remembers saying his prayers in Latin.  This language served the church well and goes back for over a millennia.  Anywhere in the world, perhaps also heaven, the Catholic Mass was said in the same language, Latin.  It is of course the Roman Catholic Church, and catholic means universal. Then came Vatican 2 and we switched to the language of the people.  In our country it was usually English, followed by Spanish, or French.  The reasoning was that the faithful should understand what they were saying.  Mr. FOG can’t argue with this logic.

Now the Vatican is standardizing the service world-wide.  An American Catholic visiting Great Britain should hear the service in the same English words as back in New York.  The Brits might have said Spirit and we Ghost but now we both use Phantom.  This means another change, as the English to be used in church services has to be standardized.  Likewise a traveler to Madrid from Buenos Aires should hear the same Spanish words.

To Mr. FOG it all sounds a bit too bureaucratic and a little petty.  Did they come up with this as a make work project for idle Vatican personnel?  Mr. FOG will say his prayers how he chooses. God will understand no matter the language . Perhaps Mr. FOG will go back to the Latin mother tonque.  Give the Vatican another 20 years and Latin will again be in vogue.  If Mr. FOG is wrong on this, “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa”. 

Mes Amis

It was a slow afternoon and evening filled with friend’s visits, food, more football and packing the suitcase for Monday’s first round of chemo.  Lunch was delivered by two of our most favorite people Molly and Dani from AT&T.  It was a most excellent repast with an Italian flair.   These ladies are on a serious quest to improve their health and the results are beginning to show, as they firm up.  Again Mario’s mood became more festive with Molly and Dani’s visit.  Visits from friends seem to help him a lot. They signed the Gator Hope Chest.

We discussed setting a tentative date in late January to have big trivia night at Central City Tavern with many of Mario’s friends.  Be there or be square.  The big challenge will be how we divide the bar tab prize when we win.

It also was double-header day, for dinner the Cunningham, Feagin, and Gabrielsons’ families provided a most excellent feast with wine.  Mr. FOG has been losing weight with all this cancer worry, but he thinks now that he may be gaining weight.  Thanks you.

Next week, Monday through about Friday, his Lordship will be at Piedmont Hospital as an inpatient for his first session of chemotherapy.  Mario will be setting up his hospital room as his  AT&T office .  With today’s technology it should keep him connected.  YOUR WORLD.  DELIVERED   they say.  Mr. FOG and Nurse Sherry will be there or close by, and keep you all informed.  . 

CHEMO DOCKING STATION

In Mr. FOG’s Star Trek mind, getting a chemotherapy port is much like having a docking station  to bring supplies to a mother ship, or in Mario’s case a “lord ship”.  The port is to be implanted in the Laird’s chest just under the clavicle

This reminded Mr. FOG that his cousin had caused him to break his clavicle, the left one he thinks.  Probably when he was 5 or so, he was standing on a toy rocking chair to look over a porch railing.  His older cousin pulled the chair away saying it was hers.  It probably was her rocking chair since they were visiting.  In any event he fell, breaking his clavicle.  This triggered memory, may mean that he never truly forgave his cousin.  Perhaps it is about time he forgives her.  

On today’s agenda is installing a chemo port, a stop at Mario’s office and back to our strong hold, Vining’s Mountain Castle.

A Chemo Port

Having a docking station in Mario’s chest will make it easier to deliver the medicines/poisons and draw blood. Although the heart is on the left side of the chest, the port was placed on slightly right of chest center, just under the right clavicle.  The port is implanted and secured  into the muscles of the chest—probably the pectoral muscle- and a tube smoothly leads up from the port up to the jugular vein and fed down into the vena cava, a major vein leading into the heart.  According to Mario’s nurse, not Nurse Sherry, but Nurse Kathy, a port helps to eliminate multiple sticks to draw blood, lessens the chance of infections, and makes it much easier to deliver chemotherapy infusions.  A port can stay in place for many months.

Mario got through the process very well.  He was in and out in about one hour.  He actually looked better after the procedure than before.  Now at home, as the local anesthesia is wearning off, Mario says the chemo port hurts. 

No Mario pictures, but below is a picture of the port and catheter outside the chest.  First seeing a thumbnail-size of the picture, Mr. FOG thought the port was laid on a man’s chest to show how it would be implanted.  But larger-sized, one can see  it is really on a piece of wood.  A ring or knot in the wood looked like a human nipple on a chest.  Strange, was it just Mr. FOG that saw this??

The next photograph is of a man presumably from Hawaii or a Hawaiian-phile with an installed port.

                                      

Our Laird would never wear such a shirt although Mr. FOG does have one or two of these, although in more sedate colors.  Bought during a fit of tropical lunacy, it seemed appropriate at the time.

Hail Mary

Father Morrow visited the Laird while he was in outpatient surgery for the port.  He was a very nice friendly priest with a sense of humor.  He has been in Atlanta for many years.  We prayed together, saying both the Our Father and Hail Mary.  An altar boy for many years, the visit helped Mr. FOG probably more so than Mario.

Mr. FOG was surprised that we also said the Hail Mary.   Are Catholics the only Christians who say/pray the Hail Mary?  Mr. FOG does not remember the Hail Mary being part of the worship service of other Christian faiths, except for perhaps the Episcopalians, which are almost Catholics and vice versa. 

The Lord, Nurse and Butler will be going to church this Sunday at St. Thomas the Apostle.  Was he the doubting one?  This is the Catholic Church near Vinings Mountain Castle.  Mass options for us appear to be the Saturday vigil at 5:00 pm or four services on Sunday.  Mr. FOG will see which one these the Laird and Nurse Sherry prefer, but we are going.

GOOD NEWS FROM TEST RESULTS

Perhaps the Butler’s outburst yesterday shamed the Hospital staff to work more efficiently.  In any event, Mario’s test results came back much more quickly than expected, and his oncologist called him today with the good news.

Good Test Results

First the bone marrow biopsy done on Monday did not show any cancer.  This is very, very good news.  MR. FOG was concerned that Mario would have to battle at another cancer location.  Fortunately, it seems not.  The trio breathed a big sigh of relief.  We were due some good news and this was truly appreciated.

Also, a PET scan was done to help detect any other areas with cancer and give us a better image of the liver.   The Lord’s PET scan did not detect cancer in any other part of the body except, of course, for the tumor in the leg.  The liver is still inconclusive.  As you may recall, Mario had two lesions on his liver.  Mario’s oncologist hoped to determine if these lesions are cancerous by using the PET scan.  The imaging did not cooperate, so we do not know and the results are inconclusive.  In any event, the chemo therapy should attack these, as well as any other undetected cancer cells.

Hopefully we only have to battle the cancerous tumor, which will be enough of a battle

More signatures on the Gator Hope Chest

We had a nice family evening at home.  Mario’s mother and brother, Jane and Phillip, came over and the trio became a quintet.  Mr. FOG over did it on the food.  He went to COSTCO and while he only bought needed foods and mostly healthy things, the warehouse quantities are big. 

The Lord and Phillip were the chefs and prepared a baby spinach salad, chicken breasts stuffed with sundried tomatoes and goat cheese, roasted sweet and regular potatoes, carrots, green beans, and apple pie.

Phillip and Jane added their signatures to the Gator Hope chest.  A family picture follows

GOOD COP (LORD), BAD COP (BUTLER)

Today’s blog is more about processes, how they break down, and the ways we deal with these situations.

Lord and Butler have been going to have a lot of tests done.  If the tests are done in the same building in which Lord Mario’s oncologist is located, Piedmont West, generally things go smoothly.  Lately however, when we have gone to Piedmont Hospital, the needed paperwork from the Doctor’s office has not reached the centers performing these tests, and we needlessly wait.

The Laird’s reaction to these situations is politically correct and much more regal.  He calmly explains why we are there and asks how we can solve the problem.  Often, perhaps always, this approach works.  Bravo for the Laird.

Yesterday, during the scan of the Laird’s right leg for blood clots, we ran into one such problem. While the scan had been scheduled, this was not enough.  A paper form with the doctor’s orders has to be faxed over where the test is being done.  The needed paper copy had not been received.

The Laird initially handled this situation, calmly explaining the situation to Jessica, a very nice young lady. She said she would call the Doctor’s office and get the needed paperwork..  Both Laird and Jessica, apparently graduates from the same charm school, smiled appropriately at the right times and nodded.  All seemed well, as far as the Butler could tell

The Butler waited a bit and when we were not called, with the Laird’s approval, went to Jessica to inquiry if all was well.  The Butler was proud of himself that he asked politely if the matter been resolved, rather than saying anything accusatory.  Jessica calmly explained that she had called the Doctor’s office but the number was busy.  She was a sweet child and busy doing many things.  She was clearly not a lazy person.  So again the Butler was polite and did not rebuke the girl, with “Girl, what is the matter with you?  Did you not think to call again?”  Instead he said would handle the matter, and called the Doctor’s office himself, who picked up this time.  The Butler explained the need for the paperwork and handed the phone to Jessica who provided the fax number needed.  The paperwork had come through when the Butler checked again a little later. Best not to take any chances, he thought.  As an aside, Mario discovered when he saw the paperwork that they had the wrong leg and, still had to call the Doctor’s office yet another time to get the order changed from left leg to right leg. 

During this episode, the Butler was always polite and lordly-like to casual observers, befitting his service to the Laird.  Privately however, he was venting to Lord Mario about the incompetency, which are mainly systemic and not of the people.  He thought it might be trick of the Hospital to make people stay longer and incur more parking charges. 

The Butler is a planner, and knew that his Laird could have a similar situation the next day for an echo cardiogram test at Piedmont Hospital.  While waiting, he asked that the Laird call the office performing the echo cardiogram and ask if all the required paperwork had been received.  After being transferred to several different persons, the last said no.  While the test had been scheduled, the needed paperwork had not been faxed.  While Lord Mario went in for his leg scan, the Butler called the scheduler at the Doctor’s and explained what had happened and his desire to avoid the leg episode happening again.  He was polite.  The scheduler, who is apparently the paper faxer as well, is a nice lady named Shaquida.  She had helped Lord, Butler and Nurse schedule most of the tests.   Shaquida said that they have so many different fax numbers at Piedmont Hospital that their faxes often do not get to the right place.  The Butler said fine and that he would get the right number for her.  The Butler felt like saying “You schedule many echo cardiograms for the third floor of the 275 building, why would you not have the fax number for this particular location and for  every other location you schedule appointments?”  Instead, the Butler called Piedmont’s echo cardiogram, spoke with Mary, and obtained the correct fax number and provided it to Shaquida in a polite voice mail message.

The next day when the Laird and the Butler went to Piedmont’s echo cardiogram center, Ms. Martin informed us that we did not have an appointment. It was worse than not having received the needed paperwork.  The Laird had no appointment at all.  Ms. Martin was clumsily holding the paper work from yesterday for the wrong leg, saying that this was all they had.  This brought back to mind the events of the previous day, and was the straw that broke the Butler's camel's back.

The Laird tried to speak first, but Butler exploded, disturbing the calm of the waiting room.  According to the Laird, the Butler may have used the word “crap”, but the Butler does not recall this.  Fortunately, he was not accused by the Laird of being disrespectful to Ms. Martin.  The Butler had an uncontrollable visceral reaction, citing that his Cuban ancestry gave him the right to have an outburst.  The Butler supposed, the same right would apply to for those of Irish ancestry and a few others, but the English probably not.  Using a technique probably learned in a gentleman's charm school,  the Laird tried to calm the Butler and take over control of the situation, but was brushed off. The Butler was pissed.  He had done all he could to correct the inefficiencies of this byzantine antiquated paper work fax system; yet a problem had still occurred. However, the Butler does not often have an outburst without also having documentation to prove he is right, the others wrong, and hopefully shame the incompetents to do better. The Butler’s experience however, has been that bureaucratic incompetents rarely learn, or show shame or remorse.  They just blame others or the system, and move on to continue a vicious cycle..

The Butler produced the Laird’s appointment schedule clearly showing we had been scheduled for an appointment.  He had his notes with conversations with Mary of the echo cardiogram center and the provided fax number provided by her.   Ms. Martin considered the documents, borrowed the Butlers’ paperwork, made a call and the matter was resolved.  The Butler had to request his paperwork back, and added Ms. Martin’s name to his notes.  It felt good to have had his say.   Ms. Martin was not at fault.  She is just part of a flawed system that wants higher parking changes.

___________________________________________________________

AS THE FOG LIFTS

The Butler is a different type of person than the Laird.  He is more combative, visceral, and emotional.  This is not an apology.  The Butler is content, even proud, of the person he is; but acknowledges that perhaps he needs to sometimes emulate the Laird’s schmoozer approach.  Likewise, the Laird may sometimes have to be more like the Butler, but this is for the Laird to decide.  The Butler suspects that the Laird is, or can be, a more visceral person, but has learned to tame his emotions.  This can be both good and bad, but probably mostly good.  

Gentle readers, you can decide what lessons there are in this for you.  Diplomacy in most cases should be the way to settle differences, and war the last.   As for the Butler, he will try to be more lordly and polite whenever possible. However it is hard for him.  At his age, we are what we are.    This is a stressful time for all, and the Butler does not need for his blood pressure to go up over silly paperwork issues.  Better to save the blood pressure for the  big issues.

The Butler will use his time with the Laird to learn how better emulate the Laird’s sweet polite schmoozer approach.  Funny, the Butler does not remember the Laird being so sweet as a child, whishing that he had been more sweet then as well.

The Butler is going to a yoga class this evening to decompress.  Nurse Sherry has been nursing a cold/allergies and is working from home.  Lord Mario is going to make her soup.