CAT GROMMING, PERHAPS?

Mr. FOG drove to his favorite coffee shop and was about to get out of the car, but paused in his car seat.  An older couple that FOG had seen there before, had stopped at the coffee shop door, semi-blocking the entrance.  The woman was cleaning something from the man’s face.  It was not quick brushing of lint or a tiny smudge.  It was more of a spring cleaning of the man's face.  FOG thought that possibly she was cleaning sleep still in the man’s eye. 

FOG wanting to give the couple a bit of privacy while they finished their ablutions, waited in his car seat.  However, the face washing/scrubbing  continued, and Mr. FOG, not willing to give them any more time for something that should have been done at home,  got out of his car.  Suddenly, Mr. FOG paused and reflected that perhaps he, as the man, did look his best.  He glanced in his car’s windows, which darkened, made a most perfect mirror, and thought that it was very fortunate that he had looked.  Karma made the couple do their public cleaning-up in front of FOG so that he could detect his own imperfections.  God works in mysterious ways they say.

Mr. FOG discovered that he still had pillow hair on the left side of his head.  Being on the bald side, Mr. FOG needs for all of his remaining hair, now graying also,  to cooperate and work together for him to look his best.  Pillow hair would not do at all.  FOG smoothed the pillow hair down and does not remember if he used his own saliva as part of his grooming treatment.  Hopefully he did not, but likely he did.  Pillow hair is hard to tame and likely needs water, hair gel, or in an emergency as this surely was, saliva.

Without looking back at the man and woman, Mr. FOG decided that he now looked presentable enough and started his walk toward the coffee shop door.  He met the man and the woman on the sidewalk.  The man smiled at FOG, as he had a hidden secret.  He remarked with something like “he had seen Mr. FOG fixing himself up before entering the coffee shop”.  Mr. FOG was taken aback.  This was all too much like the pot calling the kettle black.  The man just had received an intense wifely public grooming.   He had not even cleaned himself up.  The wife both detected the facial faux pas and carried out the public cleaning. 

Mr. FOG replied that he had seen the man’s wife clean him up and their actions reminded him to inspect that his own appearance.  FOG further explained that he had no wife, to inspect and correct any grooming deficiencies.  The man had no rebuttal and the wife said nothing, and  laughed at the exchange. 

Mr. FOG later reflected how to avoid this unfortunate incident in the future.  Without a wife and not considering one, who can alert him about any grooming deficiencies.  Mr. FOG immediately thought that Ugly/Pretty cat, who is a most excellent groomer, could give him a once over in the mornings before he leaves the house.  Some cologne should cover any lingering kitty smell.