SMALL TOWN AMERICA

After the St. Simons Island wedding, FOG was not ready to call it quits and go back home just yet.  The stop was sort of on the way back home to Asheville; so he added a visit to small town North Carolina, home to Tom the lawyer’s parents.  Tom’s parents live where North and South Carolina meet the ocean not too far from Wilmington, NC. 

As many other American small towns, it is a place that has probably seen its best days already and is unlikely to ever see them again.  There is no industry to speak off, the few young people leave to go elsewhere for jobs, and the downtown is boarded up or under-utilized.  While all of this may not sound as a place one would want to visit; it was a fun stop.  Tom has really nice parents, and it is a quiet, peaceful place with wonderful people.

Kayak Hillbilly

The lead photo selected for this BLOG is entirely the credit/fault of Herman, Tom the lawyer’s Dad.  He wanted to put Eloise, his wife of 60 plus years, up on Mr. FOG’s kayak which was on the roof of the Honda Element, a la the Beverly Hillbillies, for a picture.  If it were not dangerous, he probably would have wanted to her to ride up there around town.  Doing this seemed totally inappropriate to FOG and it was not mentioned to Eloise. The trio compromised on a picture with props around the kayak and Honda Element, sans a Granny Eloise Clampett.  Fog thought that it could have been a Grandpa Herman Clampett on top and the effect would have been similar.

Herman cleverly thought of an intriguing image with the analogy of a rocking chair on top of an old truck; to that of a kayak on the top of the Element.  However, FOG subsequently wondered if Herman's comparison was insulting FOG’s Element and kayak combination as being hillbilly, redneck, or even white trash???   FOG thought he looked cool with kayak and Element, perhaps not??

As an aside, the Clampett truck, which is actually owned by Pearl, Jethro’s mother; is said to be a 1922 or 1923 Buick flatbed truck.

Elderberry Wine Anyone??

FOG’s first day in small town North Carolina was co-incidentally the third Tuesday of the month, fortuitously for  FOG.  This is the day the Elderberries get together for their monthly meeting.  The Elderberries is an amalgamation of Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian seniors who get together for camaraderie and fun.  They were meeting at the Chadbourn Baptist church, in the old sanctuary--for Catholics the old church--which became the fellowship hall--for Catholics the parish hall--, when the new church was built in the early 1960’s. 

Let this BLOG section serve as a warning, lest you make the same mistake when attending inter-denominational gatherings.  FOG, a vino-phile and proud of it, thought that possibly the “Elderberries” name might be wine related.  He remembered the old movie of Arsenic and Old Lace, where the elderly spinster sisters, Cary Grant called them "maiden", which sounds much nicer; served elderberry wine laced with arsenic to old men, whom they thought were ready to have peace their lives. It was a sort of Dr. Kevorkian, euthanasia, although Kevorkian’s “victims/patients” asked for help to end their lives, and these men did not.  A big difference.  Perhaps there was a subliminal  euthanasia facet to the Elderberries, FOG wondered.

To make small talk and satisfy his curiosity, FOG politely asked the Baptist church Secretary if elderberry wine had any connection to the Elderberries’ name.  He could tell from the expression on her face, that this was not a good question.  FOG then remembered, belatedly, that Baptists and Methodists don’t drink.  He is not sure about the Presbyterians.

Tom’s dad stepped in, to save FOG from the horrible vino faux pas, saying that Chadbourn, the strawberry capital of North Carolina, although now only a shade of its former self, was the source of the name.  “Berry” from the town’s strawberry fame, and “elder” from the senior title that its many aging members proudly hold.  FOG accepted this.  Thank-you Herman. 

With eternal spring optimism, FOG still hoped that elderberry wine, sans the arsenic of course, might be served during or after the meal in the Baptist Fellowship Hall.  Isn't elderberry wine sort of like communion wine. Water and tea, both sweet and unsweetened were served.   FOG chose the water which was very good.

Perhaps to make up for no elderberry wine, the Elderberries had a wonderful food.  A selection of homemade church-social foods was served, reminding FOG of a time gone by.  No fusion cooking, Rachael Ray, or Emeril here, but recipes from 20 or 30 years ago that one would find in the women’s magazines.  It was like stepping back in time.  One tasty offering was Ritz crackers crumbled into something with cheese.  FOG had two helpings this one.  He also had a green thing that he has not tasted in years, but his taste buds remembered tasting this one sometime in his life. The Elderberries do know how to cook. 

The luncheon program was combination of faith and fun.  The program director put together three videos for the day’s program.  The first, a moving spiritual about entrusting our lives to Jesus’s hands and the other two, featured a favorite, well-known North Carolinian story teller called Jeanne Robertson.  One of her videos was about taking a Baptist going to Las Vegas and another about a hussy.  The very provocative titles surely piqued the interest of the attendees, perhaps hoping for something scandalous.  For the December meeting, the Elderberries will take the church bus to Wilmington for a Christmas activity to be selected.  If possible, FOG will try to return to Chadbourn on the third Tuesday of the month when the Elderberries meet. Here is a link to Robertson and one of Mr. FOG’s favorites stories:  "Men Don't Know the Style in NYC"   Listen to all of of it.  The punch line is at the end.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNfzKiS-eTU&feature=relmfu

NOTE:  After doing chores later in the day, MR. FOG was still feeling short changed in going to an Elderberry function and not getting any elderberry wine.   He decided to have an especially generous happy hour to make up for this.  Things in FOG’s universe tend to balance out.

County Programs for the Aging

The next day included another free meal at the Chadbourn Senior Center.  A county supported program, seniors, regardless of income, are offered a subsidized lunch.  It provides a balanced meal, since many elderly living alone find it hard to cook.  The communal lunch also offers the companionship of others, including people he recognized from the the Elderberry luncheon the day before.  It is of course small town USA.  Jane, a neighbor of Tom’s parents, played the piano.  Since FOG is a country western music aficionado, and her repertoire included “Don’t Fence Me In”, this is what she played.   Fog and the other seniors used to know the words, but had somehow forgotten them over the years.  Good thing that for the most part,  Jane still knew which notes to play.

The trip to small town America ended much too soon.  While not its former self, small towns are getting by and still offer a peaceful oasis as alternative to city live.  One wonders how long they can last.