ASHEVILLE NEWS OF THE WEIRD

                                 

While his Lordship is in the hospital, Mr. FOG thought that this was a good time to check on his Asheville home and cat to make sure that all was well . 

Since the Laird is being looked after by Nurse Sherry, Lady Jane the Lordship’s mother, and has a countless entourage of earls, viscounts, duchesses, common folk, plus hospital staff; it was a good time to be away.  Hence, no cancer news except that as of Saturday noon time the Lord and Nurse Sherry are back at Vinings Mountain Castle.  No blood transfusion was needed.  He is tired after all the cancer war-making.  However all is well, and he is glad to be home.  Nurse Sherry is providing TLC, which should help him gather his strength.  When Mr. FOG returns to Vinings Mountain Castle on the morrow,  he will share a fuller cancer update if there something new to report.

Mr. FOG does have Asheville news for our faithful readers.  Mr. FOG's cat was well and on a future slow cancer news day may share a cat story that sure will please the animal lovers.  However the big story today is that Asheville has snow.    Below are some pictures of Mr. FOG's little house built in 1928 and back yard in the snowfall.  Mr.  FOG added the picket fence, roses, rebuilt the stone wall and is working on the slate patio in the back.  Old houses, as old people do require more up keep.  For the houses it is tuck pointing brick work and for the old people it is a heart by-pass.  With some care and luck, both still keep on working for many years.

Besides the house/snow pictures,  Mr. FOG does have a semi- true news story from the Asheville Tattler, that may be of interest or amuse for our readers. 

THE ASHEVILLE TATTLER

(we tell all and what we don't know we make up)

APPLE BAG MYSTERY SOLVED

 by johnny appleseed

A couple of weeks ago The Tattler reported a mysterious attack on a bag of apples at 14 Fulton Street.  Tom Lawyer, an Atlanta resident and visitor, had left a bag of apples unopened in a box on the kitchen floor.  Eager to have an apple upon his return to Atlanta, he discovered the bag of apples had been opened by tearing cuts, such as an animal with sharp teeth would make.  At least one apple was partially consumed.  So disgusted was he, that he threw the entire bag of apples away.

He called Mr. FOG, the resident of 14 Fulton to express his concern and warning that rats had infested the Asheville home.  Although Mr. FOG was at first insulted by the accusation, after much discussion of the physical evidence and time of events, the men surmised that rats could not have perpetrated this daring apple bag caper. 

Tom Lawyer had carelessly left the bag of apples unattended in the back of his minivan while loading the vehicle.  Ample time for a skillful animal criminal to enter the minivan and escape unnoticed.  The minivan was parked in the driveway near an old rotting tree known to be a popular hangout of the neighborhood squirrels.   Also there had been no droppings or other physical evidence in the kitchen to suggest that rats had infested the house.

 



Vincenzo Squirrelini
AKA Don Walnut
Asheville Animal Control  Mug Shot  # 3290786



Suspicion, immediately focused on Vincenzo  Squirrelini, also known as Don Walnut.   A well know nut thief, and a "capo de tutti di capi" , he and his mafia family of squirrels live in the trees in and around Fulton Street.  (file photo).  They have been known to take nuts, scamper on roofs, and show no fear of Fulton Street residents.  Mr. FOG has had on-going feud with these culprits who steal the bird food and eat FOG’s heirloom tomatoes.  Animal wardens questioned Don Walnut and his associates and also searched the mafia family tree lair of, but found no physical evidence linking Don Walnut or his rodent family to the apple crime.

To everyone’s surprise, the apple bag mystery was solved last night, finally exonerating Don Walnut and his rodent gang of the apple bag caper.  Unable to sleep, in the early morning hours of Thursday September 16, Mr. FOG, alone in the house, heard noises on the back porch.  Thinking animals were attacking his Flower of Bethlehem bulbs stored there,  he turned on the back porch light to scare the intruder away, but no animal was there.  Instead he heard noise again and it was in the dark kitchen with him.  His heart seemed to skip a beat; perhaps Tom Lawyer  was right “I do have rats.” , or something worse.  He turned and saw a very long thick  rat-like tail peeking from behind the refrigerator.  He bravely armed himself with a broom and prepared to do battle with the rat-like intruder.  When the intruder turned un-afraid and baring his sharp teeth; Mr. FOG saw that it was not a rat, but Opie O’Possum.



Opie O'Possum
Asheville Animal Control Mug Shot # 7634590



Opie is the teenage son of Ma and Pa O’Possum who live under the porch of the house next to 14 Fulton Street.  Apparently the lithe teenage possum with his sharp claws was able to cling to the partially unsecured window screens and squeeze through a narrow opening in the half-open window and into the kitchen.

After a brief battle of wills, Mr. FOG was able to get the juvenille delinquent animal intruder out of the house.  Mr. FOG plans to better secure the windows and screens of the residence.   Animal wardens warn the public not to take the law into their own hands.  When faced with animal criminals, the public needs to call Animal Control personnel who have both the experience and training in dealing with these situations.  Opie O’Possum was taken into custody, but was later released by Animal Children Family Services to Ma and Pa O’Possum until animal social workers can evaluate the home situation and complete their report.  The O'Possum's tree home had been recently cut down and the family was forced to live under a porch to adapt to an increasingly  urban setting.  Surely this did not contribute to a good home life for the O'Possums.

Mr. FOG is much relieved to have the apple bag mystery solved.   He was scared, but saw that Opie was just a confused teenage opossum.  Hopefully this experience has taught both opossum and man a lesson.  Mr. FOG will keep his yard gates closed if not locked and be more careful with his windows and screens.  He has to remind himself that Fulton Street was theirs first.  The feud however will continue the squirrel mafia gang.