YOUR OBITUARY PICTURE




 My sister passed away recently, and I was an unwilling participant into the obituary picture process.  As a result of this experience, I wanted to share with you a few thoughts about obituary pictures in general and my sister’s, Luisa, picture in particular.  Perhaps my thoughts will help you in selecting an obituary picture for a deceased relative; or, with some pre-planning, the one used for own demise.







Margaret died at 97 yet looks about 35 in her obituary photo

 



The few times I scan the obituaries, I am always drawn to pictures of a young looking person.  My immediate reaction is how sad, to be taken so young.  Too frequently, I discover the beloved departed was 97 and that the picture was actually taken well over 50 years ago.  I feel a little as if I was tricked. A clue is what they are wearing.  If they have a World War II uniform or look like you mother did in the 1950's , it is likely the deceased chose to be remembered as they were in another by-gone era.

Viv was pretty when she was young and is still pretty

 In my opinion, a  more contemporary image of a deceased family member seems more appropriate.  While you certainly don’t want to portray the deceased unfavorably by using a picture when a person is literally on his/her death bed; the obituary photograph should be one that most in the community would actually recognize as the deceased.  A professional photo is prefered.  

For my sister's passing, my nephews choose a young, pretty picture of their mother for her obituary.  Upon seeing her image and obituar, my opinion on this subject softened and perhaps even changed.  Luisa had an absolutely perfect obituary picture.  It is the Luisa I want to forever remember. The image brought back so many nice memories.  The kind, pretty, loving older sister that treated me to ice cream, took me to movies, and taught me life’s lessons.

A loved one is gone, and all we have are the memories.  It probably for the better to cherish the good ones and remember deceased loved ones as you want to.  I am very happy remembering the pretty older sister who indulged my selfish childhood desires, the loving mother who put her children ahead of her wants and needs, the wonderful cook who made the best pepper steak and meatballs ever, and, even later in life when in great pain and suffering, the older woman of strong Christian beliefs, courage and strength who accepted her illness with dignity and few complaints.  .

Next time I look at obituary photographs, I will be more accepting of the choices made.  Perhaps, the widower wanted to remember his deceased wife as the pretty young woman he fell in love with and married many years ago; just as I prefer to remember Luisa as the young pretty woman of my childhood.